C'est la vie

Welcome New Lives!

May 9^th, 2020

Three weeks after the wedding day. We’ve moved to our own house, somewhat on the outskirts of the city. Like other newly couples, we’re happy and enjoying the adaptation, which I so far appreciate it, and which I don’t expect to change too.

It’s Ramadhan now. Bit different from last Ramadhan(s). Besides what-so-called covid19, fasting in a new family is admittedly dissimilar.

I used to wake up at 3 or more with some food already prepared on the table. My mom’s favourite menu for sahur (since it’s easy) would be endog goreng, and mine was blendrang terong lol, I could not get it now tho since my husband doesn’t like even the eggplant itself.

Our sahur would finish right before adzan subuh. The moment of fasting was very special in which we gathered so much, more intense. Before my father got the kidney disease, he used to be the imam at the mushola. We prayed isya and tarawih together, and recited qur’an with some kids and teenage neighbours till like 10 p.m. The mothers took turns sending food: pecel, bakso, watermelon, or gorengan. Some kids usually would only wait for the food and then went home; leaving the teenagers. All those memories are worth remembering.

Speaking of which, different from our family in Magetan, here we don't have such practices. Especially at the time of corona, physical-distancing-things.

Well, we’ve spent a week at my parents-in-law’s house before moving here. Since my husband’s family is wonderfully multicultural, I found bounteous new points. Not everyone is fasting, praying is so much personal, eating at the moment of other members of family’s fasting would still be respected-also the one who is fasting gets no probs. They’re super chill wkwk.

Being a new wife gets me bountiful theories to real practices. I’ve prepared myself, learned a lot in terms of domestic life, made sure that I have been legitimately ready for having my own family. Then here it is! With some captivating surprises of course 💕

found flowers on the first day moving in!

The thing I just realize is that being a woman in a family, I would specifically say being a wife in my condition-yours is probably different, is the key. I cook, clean up, make the bed, and all the stuff. No cooking means no food for the family. No cleaning up means letting the house dirty and uncomfortable. Still, my husband complained when I forgot to throw the bread wrap or fold the blanket hahah. Women are absolutely amazing. Mothers are unquestionably incredible.

Sometimes we’re less appreciated since all those activities have become daily routines-always and usually done. Our presence and what we’ve done are just like breathing. Crucially needed but not everyone realizes. That is why housewives are usually underestimated, while in fact, they have never ending works.

Telling you guys these stories doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy my very new life. I love my role, I really do. But at some points, some details bring me a deep longing. The noise of children at the mushola, mothers who gathered after the tarawih prayer, mother’s cooking, the quiet atmosphere before sahur…

The absolute unchangeable thing I just also realize is the decision of getting married itself. I’ve told you. I’ve been prepared for all the consequences before deciding to get married, but now I really experience them. Once you decide to tie the knot, you cannot undo it and have to accept that any possibilities could happen; even at the moment when you kind of want to give up or annoyed, you can’t. Therefore, don’t ever get married when you’re not ready yet, even when everybody asks you to. It’s you who gets married, not anyone else. Don’t mind your age, you’ve the whole life in your own hand.

BUT, I gets a new happiness for an empty dirty plate while he says ‘enaak’, I gets a new exhilaration for an every-day-friend of watching movies, I gets a new elation for morning hugs and night kisses. And I’m thankful for that.

It’s 10.49 p.m. My mom must have slept already. Too shy to tell her that I want to see her so bad now. I hope she doesn't feel lonely.

She should not worry. We’re fine. We’ll adjust and get into a rhythm and flow.

Good night, Ibuk…

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, by lilisnurha

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about theater

Dayani Sasana Aksara at Ezo

Two days before the play by Dayani Sasana Aksara entitled Siap, Kapitan! I received a call from Yuniar Resti, the theater director.

“I’ve had a terrible argument with the actors, all of them but don't tell anyone,” with her pessimistic-was-about-to-cry voice.

What do you think that means, except I then came to the assumption that this show would never be succeeded or the worst possibility, it would never be happening.

Two days later, minutes before it began, Resti – who was also the make-up artist, set designer, costume, sound and lighting designer, sat at the corner of Ezo’s performance space eating snacks showing as if nothing happened.

Here she was after snacking 👀

She once told me that the idea of Siap, Kapitan! was adapted from the work of Rahman Arge, Sang Mandor. I’ve read the original story in which I got the dominant emotion of sadness and madness without clearly presenting the sense of humor. At the beginning of the story, it was dominated by the role of the Mandor and his wife, followed by the three of their sons (Juki, Poke, Uduk) as well as Rimba – the right-hand man of the family. There was all of the characters gathered where the three of sons had a fight towards which one of them made their father fainted and created his disappointment most.

At Dayani’s performance, the title of Kapitan replaced Mandor for which, still, they represented similar character of a forlorn-stubborn-emotional-pathetic man. However, while there was no clear distinction of how many wives the Mandor or Kapitan had in the original work, Siap, Kapitan! displayed the presence of young delightful charming fourth wife who fonded of shopping after and along with the appearance of twelve port workers. You can imagine how crowded and ‘festive’ the stage was. Some of those twelve workers then played roles as Rimba and the sons: Koni for Juki, Jali for Poke, Nuke for Uduk with the great change of the characters from the workers to each son’s character which was presented individually and one at a time. Therefore, there was no direct conversation between the sons as well as the sons and Kapitan’s wife. In addition, surprisingly, there was an appearance of Jali’s wife who sued for divorce.

By the aforementioned description and comparison, you may already be able to distinguish the differences between the two that there had to be significant plot changes. The original story presented the chronological plot, while Siap, Kapitan! offered neatly displayed reverse chronology.

In terms of the actors, an extra point was that I could not find any sense of nervousness or hesitation. It was presumably because they had done the same performance many times, not forget to mention the theater competition at the university. This point was then probably the basis for them to no longer put much effort and seriousness, so that there were several overlapping turns; two characters who talked at the same time. However, despite the fact that it was raining, their voice could still reach the entire room and kept the emotions stable which was additionally supported by the narrow space of the venue. In addition, although there were some changes of the actress, Siap, Kapitan! has indicated a considerable improvement from the first performance, which I also watched.

Taking the narrow space into account, it was actually enough for the whole audiences but not big enough to provide the comfort. It created the bad smell room along with the hot air. Some of the audiences unconsciously fanned themselves and closed their nose. Yes, I said unconsciously since they were still hypnotized by the actors' unpredictable grumble, burst out laughing.

The image of Kapitan was presented by a high school boy who transformed into the figure of a cranky retired captain who managed to show that he was once stout and strong. He physically reminded me of Carl Fredrickson in Up movie. The loneliness, anger, and hopelessness were consistently brought out on the stage. He showed no care to the people and their jokes, affirming that he was extremely in pain. Like a typical lonely sickly old man, he tended to be sensitive and irritable. Something in reality that somehow got me questioning and failed understanding.

Siap, Kapitan! was indeed a story of a forlorn-stubborn-emotional-pathetic man, but here, Resti successfully combined the feeling of sadness with the humor completed with closely life-related jokes and typical expressions of East Javanese which created enchanting circumstance even more.

Last but not least, I did not have much comments for the music since it has been already perfectly mingled with the performance making it more entertaining.

The Yellow Lady - Jali's wife

Over all, I enjoyed the show and considered the hard-earned money was worth-spending for the ticket. At last, as the 'debut' and reflecting on my own expectation knowing some preparation drama inside the drama itself, this performance was beyond. Well done!

For the upcoming performances, by considering more comfortable space as well as more practices along with the scripts originally made wholeheartedly, this newly initiative should give us confidence to create greater masterpieces.

Break a leg, Dayani!

PS. Due to the emergence of having the best resolution documentation, I purpose the procurement of additional materials such as iphone11 or sony RX100 camera. Tq