May 9th,
2020
Three weeks after the
wedding day. We’ve moved to our own house, somewhat on the outskirts of the
city. Like other newly couples, we’re happy and enjoying the adaptation, which I so far appreciate it, and which I don’t expect to change too.
It’s Ramadhan now. Bit
different from last Ramadhan(s). Besides what-so-called covid19, fasting in a
new family is admittedly dissimilar.
I used to wake up at 3
or more with some food already prepared on the table. My mom’s favourite menu for
sahur (since it’s easy) would be endog goreng, and mine was blendrang
terong lol, I could not get it now tho since my husband doesn’t like even
the eggplant itself.
Our sahur would
finish right before adzan subuh. The moment of fasting was very special
in which we gathered so much, more intense. Before my father got the kidney
disease, he used to be the imam at the mushola. We prayed isya and tarawih
together, and recited qur’an with some kids and teenage neighbours till like 10
p.m. The mothers took turns sending food: pecel, bakso, watermelon, or
gorengan. Some kids usually would only wait for the food and then went home;
leaving the teenagers. All those memories are worth remembering.
Speaking of which, different
from our family in Magetan, here we don't have such practices. Especially at
the time of corona, physical-distancing-things.
Well, we’ve spent a
week at my parents-in-law’s house before moving here. Since my husband’s family
is wonderfully multicultural, I found bounteous new points. Not everyone is
fasting, praying is so much personal, eating at the moment of other members of
family’s fasting would still be respected-also the one who is fasting gets no
probs. They’re super chill wkwk.
Being a new wife gets me
bountiful theories to real practices. I’ve prepared myself, learned a lot in
terms of domestic life, made sure that I have been legitimately ready for
having my own family. Then here it is! With some captivating surprises of
course 💕
 |
| found flowers on the first day moving in! |
The thing I just
realize is that being a woman in a family, I would specifically say being a
wife in my condition-yours is probably different, is the key. I cook,
clean up, make the bed, and all the stuff. No cooking means no food for the
family. No cleaning up means letting the house dirty and uncomfortable. Still,
my husband complained when I forgot to throw the bread wrap or fold the blanket
hahah. Women are absolutely amazing. Mothers are unquestionably incredible.
Sometimes we’re less
appreciated since all those activities have become daily routines-always and
usually done. Our presence and what we’ve done are just like breathing.
Crucially needed but not everyone realizes. That is why housewives are usually
underestimated, while in fact, they have never ending works.
Telling you guys these
stories doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy my very new life. I love my role, I really
do. But at some points, some details bring me a deep longing. The noise of children
at the mushola, mothers who gathered after the tarawih prayer, mother’s
cooking, the quiet atmosphere before sahur…
The absolute
unchangeable thing I just also realize is the decision of getting married
itself. I’ve told you. I’ve been prepared for all the consequences before
deciding to get married, but now I really experience them. Once you decide to
tie the knot, you cannot undo it and have to accept that any possibilities
could happen; even at the moment when you kind of want to give up or annoyed,
you can’t. Therefore, don’t ever get married when you’re not ready yet, even
when everybody asks you to. It’s you who gets married, not anyone else. Don’t
mind your age, you’ve the whole life in your own hand.
BUT, I gets a new happiness
for an empty dirty plate while he says ‘enaak’, I gets a new exhilaration for an
every-day-friend of watching movies, I gets a new elation for morning hugs and
night kisses. And I’m thankful for that.
It’s 10.49 p.m. My mom
must have slept already. Too shy to tell her that I want to see her so bad now.
She should not worry.
We’re fine. We’ll adjust and get into a rhythm and flow.
Good night, Ibuk…
