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LIFE IS LIFE

Agustus 01, 2019


Hello.
It’s been a long time since the last time I did blogging probably in high schools. I wrote at other platforms and still does, but welcoming blog again...why not.

In this blog, I'll write whatever comes up on my mind, sometimes in Bahasa and sometimes in English, without considering any grammatical mistakes or using ‘advaced’ vocab. Sorry for that :)
I’m 25 this year, and of course find many things have changed. I have smaller number of friends. Well I have lots of friends, like hundreds, but it’s not the same anymore. Sometimes I just feel that the more I grow up, the more introvert I am. I feel that I dont belong to certain circles. I understood what they were talking about but I was just not into it. The appropriate term was (maybe) feeling uncomfortable.

And whenever that feeling’s coming, I’m gonna leave after saying hi or simple chit chat. It is like being picky towards which friends to hang out, to talk to, and to share my personal life. I no longer give too much care about someone’s thought towards me. Does it sound selfish? Cause I just avoid anything that makes me feel uncomfortable, sad, guilty, and...fake. I just want to be the happy me, the real me. In the end, I cannot ask everyone to like me, and vice versa.
I would say that happiness is not always having a job, a lot of money, or anything that people mostly want. It is also about how we feel content. Sometimes seeing someone we like around makes us feel that way, doesn’t it? Happiness is unpredictable and could be different for every person. To me, jumping on the bandwagon is a big no, like following a trend, doing what other people do. Friends of mine already make money, have kids, move abroad, and let them be. I am happy for them, but I wont let it stop embracing myself. And yeah, I’m still taking my master degree. Fifth semester now...*facepalm*
But still, money is money. Haha. I want to be independent. I want to buy things and stuff by my own. Sure Im still working on translation, but that’s not enough (did I just say that happiness is not always about money in the prev paragraph?). I mean it’s not only about financial issues , but at least I want to be settle.

I am in the phase where no longer impressed by someone based on her/his posts, instead, I am impressed by their personality. Talk. Posting ‘religion’ things is nice, but I am gonna take it as it is, as an ‘educative’ source without defining the person.

Besides every single theory I believe, I am (well, actually) emotionally unstable. Study that is longer than it should be. Family who expects more but I cant give them anything yet. I know they want me to graduate really soon, to get married, to have a job, to have cute babies, to be normal. But hey, it’s even frightening to say that I’m not sure of what I’m taking and concerning on. Seriously in this 25ish, still thinking that way. Terrible, isn’t it?

But it’s ok. It’s just a phase and it all shall pass beautifully if we work on it wholeheartedly. It is a poor workman who blames his tools. So, yeah, shape up or ship out!

How about you? Are you satisfied with your life already? Tell me.

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